A little eye surgery & how it relates to self-sabotage

I had a cosmetic excision done on my eye today and it taught me something that I knew I just had to share. We are faced with so many decisions in our lives that are uncomfortable, but on the other side is new life. Growth. Love. Happiness. And so much more that we can’t even imagine.

In my adult life, I always felt like my eyes were my best feature. More specifically, my eye color. The colors change from blue to grey and a little bit of brown. People have always complimented my eyes, even if they thought I was too fat, made fun of my lips or teeth…you know the deal. So I embraced my eyes as being my best (and sometimes only good) feature.
Then one day, I started getting this yellow growth on the whites of my eyes. Caused by uv rays, wind and sand and a lack of eye protection, my beautiful eyes were tainted. I’ve had to learn to love other physical parts of me-even the ones that aren’t so perfect, while being more and more self-conscious about my eyes. I decided that I am worth going through the short period of pain and uncomfort to take this unpleasant thing away so I can love my eyes again.

It was scary as hell having my eye opened and kept open by a metal tool. I am pretty tough with most situations but I felt panicked and wanted to run away from this doc who was cutting this thing off of my eye while I was wide awake! I seriously needed a Xanax or something, and I was so thankful it only took about 10-15 minutes.

I walked out feeling a little dizzy, but otherwise okay. I think I scared my daughter a little, but she quickly got used to me again. Throughout the course of the day, I’ve felt okay. My eye is a little sore, but the worst thing for me is keeping this patch on my eye. It’s such an annoyance and irritating. I can’t see because of it, my eye will itch and I can’t do anything about it and it’s just flipping annoying. I absolutely can’t wait to wake up and rip this sucker off.

When the eye patch comes off, the real ugly will come out. I’m expecting my eye to get pretty sore for a few days, and it’ll look terrible. The whites will be red from bruising. It’s just not going to be pleasant. And when it’s healed, my eye will be beautiful again. I can be confident, and I’ll be armed with the knowledge of how to prevent it from happening again…wear eye protection!

So what is the point to all this? How many times have you been faced with a decision in your life where you knew things would be better if you would just push forward through some things that are uncomfortable, ugly, or even quite painful for a little while? How many of those times have you decided that it’s totally worth it and defeated that uncomfort to better your life? It is so easy to self-sabotage. “I mean, life is fine just as it is. Why put myself through that on the chance of things being much better than they are now when I can be okay right here?” I know I’ve said this sort of thing to myself a LOT in my lifetime. It comes from fear. The “what ifs” and the fear keep us from truly breaking through and making our lives as amazing as they are meant to be. Do me a favor. Next time you start telling yourself a version of this, stop and consider what will life be like if you push through that fear, that insecurity? Grant Cardone says, “the fastest way to kill fear is by taking action.” Take action, my friends. Kill fear. Have the amazing life you are meant to live. Then come back and tell me what happened so I can celebrate you.

One thought on “A little eye surgery & how it relates to self-sabotage

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  1. Hi Leah

    Really interesting post. How’s your eye doing now? Any irritation? I have one of these and irritates me, I am considering surgery. Was it worth it? Who did it for you? Sorry, lots of questions! Thanks Becky (UK)

    Liked by 1 person

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