Where are all the women like me?

Isn’t it funny. God makes you a certain way. Quiet. Loud. Outgoing. Shy. And however you are, you are judged. People point out your qualities as if they are faults instead of blessings or your true strengths. Part of what makes you…you…is always attacked. And yet, many of us will conform because we innately want to make people happy and be liked. We don’t realize by quieting the person we are by nature is doing the opposite. It is attracting people to us who are not like us, but like the version of us we display while simultaneously turning off the people who would most understand and vibe with us.

Maybe you can relate. When I was a little girl, I always saw the best in people and just had a strong sense of knowing God would always take care of us. I had a very large sense of right and wrong, and had no issue taking up for what is right and just. This burned me quite a few times, but mainly once I became an adult and joined the Army. It turns out that organizations steeped in hundreds of years of tradition do not like being told the way they are doing things isn’t right and is screwing people over.

In my 40’s now, I have been through the gamut of being too loud, not knowing when to speak up and when to shut up, speaking up in a way where I was just throwing a fit-so even if I was justified in my point, it came across as me just being a bitch-and even, yes, staying quiet when I shouldn’t because I was trying to “learn my lesson.” As a woman, it has been hard to connect with other women who can appreciate my passion without feeling some sort of way and not really liking me at the core. Whether it is because they don’t want to be friends with someone who has different viewpoints, or they don’t want to be seen with a “trouble-maker,” or if I was just too much for them because I know I’m an acquired taste, I really don’t know and I can’t pretend to know what goes on in other peoples’ minds. I just know it’s been a decent life, but pretty lonely.

I do believe society’s view on women and the push of all this perfection in the media and on magazines and the constant push of having women compete with one another instead of working together has had a major effect on all female friendships. I’ve always wanted to be able to have an actual conversation with a friend that went more like this:

“Hey, when you said x the other day it really hurt my feelings.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you! Tell me more about that. Let’s have a conversation and work it out.”

And then actually two women sit and work it out. Instead it’s more like this:

“Oh my gosh, Leah said x the other day to me. Can you believe she said that?! What a bitch, I can’t trust her. I know she hurt me on purpose because she knows I was feeling some kind of way.”

Then that friend tells another friend who tells another and so on and so forth. Next thing you know, none of the women on your block are even looking in your direction and you have no idea what happened. I would even rather deal with friend issues how men do..they get mad enough to knock each other’s block off and the next thing you know they are buying each other beers again.

But no.

That’s just not how women are. It can be so hard and lonely to find someone with whom we really connect with and then can have those hard conversations without ruining a friendship. So most friendships are more like connections and acquaintances. And then that need we have of truly deeply connecting with other people like us goes unmet and we end up lonely.

It’s for those reasons I am changing directions on my page and in my blogs. I will be writing about deeper subjects for three reasons:

1. My husband is a great listener and he’s my best friend, but I don’t want to wear him out with my constant yammering. Plus, anything I write he will have heard about it first.
2. It may be therapeutic for me to get these things out there since the VA really sucks at getting me a good therapist.
3. To connect with other women like me. So you know you aren’t alone in the way you think, act, or feel.

I am a conservative Christian woman (biological and otherwise) who will protect my children from all of the agenda pushing and craziness happening in the world as much as I can and with every breath. I believe in the sanctity of marriage and the traditional roles of marriage, which includes that husbands and wives should be respectful of one another and help each other.

This does not mean I hate or have any ill-will towards anyone who has a different lifestyle or believes differently than me. It means I have my own set of morals and beliefs and that is what I will be sharing. I do not take responsibility for anyone coming here and getting offended about what I share, I recommend just not coming here.

In this life, we need to focus on being as happy as we can be and choosing joy and kindness. But I have learned that doesn’t mean always turning a blind eye and not speaking up or speaking out. It’s all in the way that speaking up is done. So that’s what I am attempting to do in a way that is loving and kind and connects like-minds together.

If you’ve found your way here and are still reading, thank you. Feel free to subscribe so you get notified when I publish new content. I would love connect.

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