What do you wanna be when you grow up?

How many of you reading this are in the career you FIRST chose when you graduated from school? Doesn’t matter which school that may be: high school, technical school, undergrad, grad school…Are you still doing what you first set out to do?  My next question is this: Are you doing what you always dreamed you’d be when you were a child? And lastly, do you truly enjoy what you do?  I don’t mean the days when you have off or bad days.  We all have those, and even a dream job can be hard and hard on us.  What I mean is, are you happy in your current career field?  I’ll go first, then I want to hear from you.

Growing up, I really only ever had two dreams.  Every once in awhile I would get a wild hair up my butt and want to be a ballerina or something random.  But really only two things stuck with me from the time I was a child all the way to adulthood that I REAAAAALLLLLY wanted to do and be.  The first thing hit me when I was four and watching the movie Splash with my family.  Everyone was close to one another on the furniture, bundled under blankets and enjoying popcorn.  They would all laugh together at the funny parts.  I was four so I had no idea what in the world was so funny about a mermaid that had legs, but the feeling stuck with me and I decided then and there that I wanted to be an actress.

This lasted all through my childhood, and I am even somewhat embarrassed to admit that I signed yearbooks with “you’ll see me on the big screen.” I’m sure kids thought I was a complete lunatic, especially because I wasn’t even in drama class.  I did some acting here and there and truly loved it.  But life happened and I soon realized that I liked my privacy way too much to pursue fame.   I wouldn’t realize until twenty years later that I’m actually a social extrovert and really introverted and am happy in my solo bubble about 95% of the time.

The second thing I wanted to be, and I really don’t recall when this desire hit but I imagine it was just ingrained in my being probably by God, was a mom.  But I wanted to be June Cleaver.  You know, always put together, have dinner ready for my husband when he gets home, help the kids with homework, have their clothes laid out for them, keep the house clean, the whole she-bang.  When I found myself in the Army I would be teased because there I was loving to shoot on ranges and meaner than a rattle snake and telling people all I really wanted was to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.  Again, people thought I was crazy.

There have been times in my marriage when I’ve been able to stay home with the kids, but mainly I’ve held a job even if only on a part-time basis.  There’s lots I’ve learned about myself along the way, like being barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen is not for me.  It totally sucks when you’re so uncomfortable you just want to die and everything that you cook makes you sick.  I am so jealous of the ladies out there that say things like,”I’ve never felt better!” while they are 9 months pregnant, running marathons and saving lives or whatever those ladies do.  Pregnancy is absolutely horrible for me and I hated every one of them.  Of course, the children after make it all worth it.  (Except for those days you wish you could kinda shove them back in there..just kidding…kind of)  I also learned that I truly hate cleaning.  And laundry.  I don’t mind cooking, but I really hate cleaning up afterwards.  I don’t know how some of you grow up actually enjoying these things, but give me some of that juju! I have even heard tell that for some of you this sort of thing is therapeutic! Say what?! Ummmm…this mama needs that feeling.

For now, these are things I just don’t enjoy.  Although I have discovered one secret to not hating these household chores so much is to think of how good it feels to have a clean house, healthy and fed children, and a husband that appreciates what is done around the house so he doesn’t have to do the things.  But I have also found that I enjoy working outside of the home.  Some of the time.  Truth be told, I don’t really want to work for anyone else.   I despise having to go clock in and work set hours for someone else’s retirement check while I work my tail off for next to nothing.  But I like the social aspect of work, it’s nice to get out of the house and have adult conversation about something other than kid fights, messes, poop, and your children trying to kill one another over the IPad.  I also enjoy the feeling of accomplishment.  It feels so good to know you’re making a difference, doesn’t it? Even if it’s something seemingly small, you’re making your mark on the world through the work you do.

I am wondering how many other women are feeling this way? I’m not gonna lie, it’s been quite a battle in my heart and mind now for five years.  Figuring out that perfect career that also allows me to be home with my family 95% of the time but making crazy awesome money.  I know it’s different for everyone, but I am working on putting together my dream of being a stay-at-home-mom with being a financially free entrepreneur.  I have discovered the Golden Ticket for my life, but it’s going to take work.  I have researched, interviewed, read about, and listened to enough success stories to know that the life I want does exist.  My fourth grade teacher used to always make us write sentences, “You reap what you sow, more than you sow, after you sow.”  My dream has evolved to include being a blogger, entrepreneur, and stay-at-home-mom.  Hot messes allowed.  I couldn’t be more excited about my dreams and showing my children that their dreams really can come true.

Now, back to you.  If you aren’t yet living the dreams you set out for yourself.  Or if your dreams aren’t quite what you expected, what is stopping you now from having the life you want to live?  I’d love to hear from you.  Remember this: You are worthy.  You are loved.  Live your dreams.  Love yourself.

hugs,

Leah